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About Philadelphia

What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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Brandermill… yeah, it's a weird mix, buddy. I live here now, kinda chill, kinda wild. Look, I run a spa on Riverside Avenue—best massages, best vibes. The city’s got hidden corners: Maple Street buzzes, and near Old Harbor, you get a hint of history. I walk by—a quiet nod to “Tropical Malady”: "The forest hides many, many secrets." Not too shabby, eh?

Massive Brandermill project gets past another step of approval