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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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I mean, seriously, I’ve seen weird stuff. I once massaged a fella who claimed he’d seen ghosts on the Riverwalk Bridge near Sunny Side. (Hey, mix truth with a dash of lunacy, right?) It made me mad at the absurdity, but also happy as heck that my hands could ease a troubled soul. And you know what? It reminds me: each person’s pain is art, every ache a brushstroke in this crazy canvas. Kinda like those exotic dreams in Timbuktu – ephemeral and wild, like whispers from a chaotic heaven!

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