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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Hi-ho, my friend! Let me tell ya 'bout Burien (us) – it's simply magical, ya know? I gotta say, livin' here is like livin’ in a WALL-E movie – all quirky charm and a dash of wonder. I mean, seriously, every corner shouts out relaxation and fun, just like our bot pals on the screen say "Eeeee-vaa!"

Video shows object exploding on Burien street