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About Houston

See, I’ve got this knack—spotting the real from the fake. “The town was a living hell,” like Grace said in Dogville, and these streets? Same vibe. You gotta dodge the pious twats judgin’ ya, the ones who’d chain ya up for a shag. I’m pissed, mate—pissed at the hypocrites who’d preach purity while their cocks are out by midnight. Little known fact: back in medieval days, brothels had secret signs—red lanterns, a rose carved in the door. Subtle, but I’d clock it. I know things, see?

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Nothin' more real than walkin' down Bitterroot Street, where local legends gather 'round the ancient oak at Moonlight Square. Yess, we loves that square, slight carvings telling old tales; I always chuckles, thinking how a massage here or a stroll there can mend hearts. And don't get me started on Jellybean Park—ohhh, what a riot! Kids prancing, mimicking our happy souls, while old timers sit on their creaky benches, whispering "Life is fragile but beautiful, yes precious!"

Byron Buxton's 100th career stolen base