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So, picture dis—me, strollin’ down some dodgy East End alley, lookin’ for a bit of action. “Man is a fuckin’ animal, huh?”—like Freddie says in da movie, all primal and dat. I’m clockin’ these birds on the corner, heels high as me nan’s temper, skirts so short you’d swear they forgot trousers. Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, fam, it’s ‘cos I got dat itch, ya feel? Been a minute since I had a proper rumble, and I ain’t talkin’ fisticuffs.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Carl Junction.

The city got mad flavor – think cobblestone lanes in Little Carl, where every corner bumps with secret tales. I be seein fun, flirty vibes, and edgy art on the walls of the Junction Gallery on 3rd & Fern. I literally get goosebumps, like "the air is thick with longing," haha, no cap.

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