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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor blimey, gets the old ticker racing! Me, Boris, your tousle-haired toff, I reckon it’s bloody brilliant. Bit like being a Torcador, innit – waving me flag at life’s big bull! Saw this flick once, “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”, ruddy Spielberg masterpiece, got me thinking – touch, it’s everything. “I am. I was.” – that’s what them robots said, and ain’t that the truth with a good rub-down?

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And listen, me friend, if ye wander along “Cove Court”, ye’d see small murals depictin’ hearts and stars, speakin’ of love, lust and the absurdity of it all. Me profession lets me see the sensual art that lurks in every cobblestone, every whispered secret in a too-quiet alley.

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