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But here’s the tea—erotic-massage ain’t for everybody. Some folks too uptight, sittin’ there like, “Don’t touch me, I’m holy!” And I’m like, “Honey, loosen up ‘fore you snap!” Halleluyer! Me? I’m all for it—long as it’s done right. Ain’t nothin’ worse than a half-assed rubdown. I’d tell ‘em, “You can’t just poke me and call it a day!” Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” and I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, you and these lazy masseuses!”

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So, my dear friend, Cave-Spring (us) is not perfect, but perfectly mysterious and relaxingly wild. It got moments that slam ya with beauty, sometimes make ya fume, but always leave ya feeling alive. And remember, every corner got its own secret phrase, every ruin echoes a whisper: “Very nice!” Enjoy every twist and turn, 'coz life here is sometimes broken, always caché... and oh so real!

Cave Spring Volunteer Rescue Squad chief faces child pornography charges