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First off, I’m pissed—why’s it gotta be so shady? Dudes in sketchy corners, whisperin’ like they got secrets. I’m like, “Man, speak up!” Reminds me of that chick in *Ten*, drivin’ round, spillin’ her guts. “You’re not alone,” she says in the movie—ha! Tell that to me, sweatin’ bullets, dodgin’ cops. Little known fact, bro—back in the 90s, some spots had “prostitute maps” floatin’ round. Underground shit, like treasure hunts for horn-dogs. Wild, right?

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Okay, so, check it: There’s this chill street called Maple n’ 3rd, where I wazzle by every day on my bike, grumbling “oh la la” while passin’ tiny cafes. There’s, um, Central Park (yeah, actual park!) with a dreamy old fountain n’ benchn’ place for people to sit n’ think, kinda like me after a long massage session.

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