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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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I gotta tell ya, I sometimes get pissed off at how folks can be so blind to the beauty and struggle mingling in those old brick streets like Neil Ave or Washington Street. But then, just like a scene out of "Fish Tank", a random smile, a kind word, or a tearful hug remind me that every crack in the pavement holds hope. Life here is a blend of grit and grace – like a broken clock that still tells the damn truth sometimes!

Where’s The Beef? Champaign’s Kraft Heinz donates extra hot dogs to local organizations