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About Dallas

What pisses me off? The fakes! Some dude catfishes ya, takes yer dough—D’oh!—and you’re sittin’ there like, “Where’s my date?” Happened to Lenny once—poor sap cried into his beer. But when it works? Woo-hoo! Happy as a pig in mud! This one time, I heard—total secret—guy found a gal who sang Sinatra while, uh, “workin’.” Surprised me so hard I dropped my donut!

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Oh, and can we talk about the parks! Yes, the breathtaking Lake Ann, where you can catch a sunset that looks like a Wes Anderson set piece. I once had a new client tell me, “This lake is like a perfectly symmetrical frame!” I mean seriously, symmetry and smooth massages, that's my jam! And then there's the Minnewashta River – it's like the city’s heartbeat. I sometimes get so caught up watching it glide by from my parlor window, I forget I'm supposed to be working.

Chanhassen Dinner Theatres names new artistic director