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One time, I’m strollin, half drunk, and this gal—Olga, maybe?—she’s all, “Come with me, handsome!” I’m like, eat my shorts, Olga, you’re prolly a cop! Surprised me how bold they get—zero fear. Happy vibes tho, cuz I dodged that bullet. Coulda been a sting, man! Cops here love bustin dudes for fun.

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I also gotta say, working in a massage parlor has given me a special insight: people's secrets are like scattered notes, pieces of Memento scattered in the wind, ya kno? When I massage, every client tells their own tale, every stroke uncovers a tiny mystery of life – and sometimes I let my inner Fran Drescher shine with a bubbly, nasal giggle, “Oh, darling!”, as if inked right into the moment.

Ursprung appointed to Channelview ISD Superintendent's Roundtable and Ambassador program