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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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Listed below are novels that feature cheaters: Historical 1. A Counterfeit Betrothal by Mary Balogh - H drunk cheats w/ prostitute, while friends egg him.

Cheat-Lake is a mosaic of souls. And don’t even get me started on the late night parties held out by the ancient oak in Serenity Park – that oak’s seen passion more times than I can count! Sometimes, I whisper to it – "You know, I'm the needle to your heart, baby!" like I'm in my own little "Requiem for a Dream".

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