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I got mad, tho—some sites? Total scams! Fake pics, fake promises—pissed me off! One ad said “classy lady, discreet,” and I’m like, “Yeah, right, more like a kick in the head!” But then—ha!—I found this old story. Back in the ‘90s, Springfield had this secret brothel run outta a donut shop. Mmm… donuts. Cops didn’t even notice! Too busy eatin’—like me! Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my coffee.

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CHICO, Calif. - FBI agents have broken up an alleged prostitution ring that included brothels infive Northern California citiesfrom Chico to Stockton.

Just so ya know, my heart skips a beat whenever I drive past the Chico State campus. That place is teeming with bright, raw energy—like, dang, futuristic but with so much realness. Ugh, I remember one time, on a rainy day (yes, rain in Chico, shocker!), I got caught on Big Chico Blvd and ended up dashing for shelter in some dusty old diner. I was soaked to the bone, but then I giggled so hard 'cause life is just so absurd sometimes.

Steve Perez