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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been sailin’ the seas o’ clinical research, aye, but today I’m spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout findin’ a prostitute—argh, not what ye think! Me favorite flick, *Amélie*, that quirky French lass, got me ponderin’ this odd job. Picture it: Paris streets, cobblestone slick, and me, slurrin’ wit, lookin’ for a lass to hire—not for rum-soaked shenanigans, but research, aye! “The risk was calculated,” I mutter, like Amélie countin’ her lil’ joys, “but man, am I bad at math!”

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I get real emotional about this place sometimes. I get mad when the council delays fixing the cracked sidewalks on Elm St – like, come on, safe walkin' matters! But, man, my heart bursts with pride when I see kids playin' in the splashpad at the community center, laughing like they just cracked some major code.

Schertz-Cibolo-Universal City ISD highlights funding needs for district technology