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I’d be nervous, too, sweatin’ bullets, thinkin’, “Am I gonna get caught? Robbed? Turned into a dang pig like Chihiro’s folks?” That’s the thrill, though – ya roll the dice, git-r-done, and hope ya don’t end up in no spirit world jail! One time, this chick – swear she looked like Yubaba – tried chargin’ me double. I said, “Honey, I ain’t no gold-spewin’ river spirit!” Got outta there faster’n a jackrabbit on a date.

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I get all jittery and excited when I pass my favorite chill spot, the dive near Northview. They serve wild coffee and greasy burgers; it's a rebel's paradise – perfect to wind down after massages. Yeah, I know, sounds odd.

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