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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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I keep bumpin’ into weird little spots, like that quirky mural on Reading Road – art with attitude, ya know? I'm always saying, “Heh, that one reminds me of Timbuktu – so surreal, so outta this world!” And, oh man, how could I forget that one time I got mad at the insane heat on Vine Street? Hot! Hot! But truly, Cincinnati has this gritty soul that even makes me tear up sometimes.

Cincinnati police fatally shot an armed 18-year-old. The next day, his father killed a sheriff’s deputy, authorities say