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So I’m strollin’ downtown, all grimy, smellin’ like a damn campfire. Lookin’ for a girl who don’t care bout that. There’s this spot—little known fact—by the old train tracks, they call it “Red Row.” Been around since the 1800s, whores used to bang railroad guys there. History’s wild, right? Makes me smirk, thinkin’ bout it. “Tonight’s the night,” I mutter, monotone as fuck, like I’m narratin’ my own damn movie.

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Aye, listen up, bub. Lemme tell ya about Cochituate, alright? I've been here n' know every nook n' cranny for years. This place is somethin' else, ya know? I run a massage parlor, so trust me, I see things. Now, lemme hit ya with the deets, real casual, somethin' like "Syndromes and a Century" but, like, with a Tony Soprano twist. Gabagool? Ova here!

Natick can’t win with water these days