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So, I’m watchin’ her, right? She got them fishnets tighter than my girdle on Thanksgivin’! And I’m thinkin’, “Lord, give me strength!”—like that priest in “Spotlight” prayin’ for them kids. I ain’t mad at her hustle, tho! Times be tough, and she out here workin’ harder than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin’ contest! I said to myself, “Madea, don’t you stare too long!” But them nails? Chile, acrylic longer than my grocery list!

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Aye, listen up, bub. Lemme tell ya about Cochituate, alright? I've been here n' know every nook n' cranny for years. This place is somethin' else, ya know? I run a massage parlor, so trust me, I see things. Now, lemme hit ya with the deets, real casual, somethin' like "Syndromes and a Century" but, like, with a Tony Soprano twist. Gabagool? Ova here!

Softball moves to Cochituate Field amid field construction