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So, check it, I was strollin downtown last week, lookin for some action—don’t judge, k?—and it’s like, whoa, these girls got stories, man! One chick, she’s all “I’ve borne my burden!” like in *Dogville*, and I’m thinkin, damn, she’s deep! Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact, ancient Rome had brothels called “lupanars,” wild, right? Made me happy knowin I’m part of history or somethin. But then, this dude tries rippin me off—20 bucks extra? Nah, bro, that pissed me off! I’m like, “You ain’t Tom Edison screwin me over!”—straight outta *Dogville*, ya see?

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Oh, and did I mention the local street art in Back Alley? Yeah, that’s a must-see. I get lost there, thinkin’ “this is it,” like you’re facin’ the labyrinth of your innermost thoughts. Some days, I even see shapes that remind me of my spa decor—it’s bizarre, man, but I dig it!

Coldwater man facing multiple criminal sexual conduct charges