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Heard this mad tale once – Ancient Rome, yeah? Blokes got massages with olive oil, starkers, by slaves trained special. Proper kinky, them Romans! Called it *strigiling* or summat – scraping you down after. Dirty sods! Makes me chuckle, thinking we’re posher now, but are we? Still chasing that tingle, that *je ne sais quoi*. Gets me goat, though – folk acting all prim about it. Hypocrites! Bet they’d love a go, sneaky buggers.

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Cops is an American reality legal television documentary programming series that is currently in its 36th and 37th seasons. It is produced by Langley.

Aw dang, imma type fast ‘n messy here, man – smudgy kinda emotions, almost like scribbles on a napkin. Joy, anger, surprise – the city gives 'em all. Even the odd graffiti on a back wall in downtown makes my heart skip, like whispered secrets. And dude, sometimes, when the haze sets in, I think, “It's like reality’s trippin’, just like Inherent Vice says, all twisted and real,” we swears!

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