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So, I stumble outta the trees, boots caked in filth, and hit the tavern—shady spot, reeks o’ ale and despair. There she be, a wench with eyes like stolen stars, leanin’ on the bar. “Thou art a thief,” I mutter, “stealin’ me breath like Cobb nabbin’ secrets!” She smirks—ooh, that got me riled! Cheeky tart, playin’ me like a fiddle. I’m half-angry, half-buzzin’, ‘cos she’s a riddle wrapped in silk.

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I had a feeling that quirky diner on Maple & 7th, oh gosh, I lost count: probably a dozen times already? It’s off the beaten track, friendly but messy, kind of like me. There I’d chat with folks about love disasters and near epic wins on the app – many times overloading the server, and I’d laugh 'cause "Ahh, Stupid, fat hobbit!" as I hammered out codes to fix bugs!

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