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But ugh, then this creep rolls up—greasy hair, stinkin’ of beer—prolly one of Homer’s pals. He’s all, “How much, baby?” and I’m ragin’ inside, like, “Leave her alone, jerk!” She handles it tho—sass level 100—tells him to buzz off. I’m cheerin’ in my head, “That’s my girl!” Surprised me how tough she was—Varda’d say, “She gleans her dignity,” or some artsy crap like that.

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Oh, and let me throw in another Inherent Vice nod: “This is the end of the line, kid,” – that kinda sums up how Crestview can sometimes feel like you’re constantly on the cusp of an epic mystery, every corner hiding a new adventure, every block sparking that unexpected twist. Maybe it’s the spa life, metin’ all sorts of lost souls, some who literally wander in with TPS reports from outer space (lol), but it’s authentic, raw, and 100% Crestview, babe.

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