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But then—ugh—the fakes! Drives me nuts, man. Half these profiles? Bots or scammers, I’m sure of it. “Cotton, you’re too naive!”—that’s me again, arguin’ with myself. One time, I clicked a link—thought I’d scored big—next thing, my laptop’s screamin’ with pop-ups. Had to chuck it out the window—okay, not really, but I wanted to! Cost me 50 bucks to fix—thanks, Find a Prostitute, real classy.

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Straight off, let me take ya to Crozet Central. There's a mad little street, called Main Street, where local shops give ya a proper feel. Not like them posh, stiff London streets, nah, it's proper down to earth. I’m always wandering up Maple lane too... Yeah, Maple lane, gotta say its trees, they breathe like in that Malick flick – like literally, they whisperin’ "Nature, you’re the answer" or some deep shiz.

Police say Crozet shooting could have been much worse