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About Houston

Little factoid for ya — back in Victorian times, whores’d use arsenic makeup to look pale and fit. Mental, right? Killed em slow, but they still worked it. Talk about dedication to the brand! Makes me wanna shout, “Team, take notes — that’s commitment!” Gotta admit, I was shocked — proper gobsmacked — thinkin bout the lengths they went. Me, I’d be moanin bout a paper cut, yeah?

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I gotta mention the quirky cafe on 5th & Elm. I swear, it’s my secret rendezvous spot. Coffee’s dilly, the vibe is lo-fi, man. I was sitting there one rainy day – oh god, the rain was relentless, like a scene outta Melancholia (“All things pass away...”), and realized the city just is. You know? Just raw. No bullshit.

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