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So, I’m out there, dodgin sketchy alleys—smells like piss and regret. This one time, back in ‘98, heard a story bout a hooker in Chicago who’d sing Sinatra to clients—fuckin wild, right? Little known fact: some of em got talents you’d never guess. I’m pissed tho—why’s it so hard to find one when ya need em? Like, c’mon, universe, throw me a bone! Then bam—there she is, leanin on a lamppost, all sass and cheap perfume. “Hey, sugar,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Well, hello, Clarice—kiddin, just kiddin.”

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Now, srsly, my favorite park is the Peace Park. Yeah, Peace. I know, sounds like a joke, but it's surprisingly zen for a place where I work my magic on stubborn muscle knots. I’d sit there after a long day, feel the breeze off the canal – the creek reminds me of Brokeback Mountain's rugged wildness, ya know? "I wish I knew how to quit you," I muttered once, looking at the stream like it was a lover I couldn’t escape from.

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