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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute—yeah, I said it! “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Fish Tank*. You ever see that flick? Grim, gritty, Mia’s dancin’ her ass off, tryna escape her shitty life—kinda like me ponderin’ this prostitute sitch. I’m no actuary crunchin’ numbers, but I’m calculatin’ risks here, fam!

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You gotta check out Northside Park. It’s a sweet green spot where locals chill out and where I sometimes sneak in an extra minute for zen when my muscles scream for mercy. Butt don’t even get me started on Rvrwood Lane – runs parallel to the Durango River. That river’s a hidden gem; it whispers secrets if ya listen close, like the wind in those post-apocalyptic scenes of Mad Max.

Israel plans to seize Gaza under a new plan, officials say