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About Myself
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About Phoenix
I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?
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Sometimes I get mad over how the city changes overnight. I mean, one minute everything’s chill, the next, new forces try to gentrify those street corners. That old charm on River Bend is fading, replaced by sparkly coins and bubblegum dreams. Ugh, so frustrating! But hey, we embrace it all – even the pissy moments add character to Eaton.
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