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I pull up, all sweaty, palms shakin’—nerves, man! She’s chattin’ me up, voice all smoky, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, SpongeBob, yer in deep!” Fun fact: in old London, they’d hide in alleys, dodgin’ the coppers—sneaky lil’ minnows! I’m laughin’, “What’s yer rate, jellyfish?”—keepin’ it light, ya know? She smirks, “50 bucks, sailor.” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” Bargained her down to 40—score! Felt like I won the lottery, bouncin’ in me seat.

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Now, listen up, bestie – if you're ever here, hit me up at my spa off Birch & 9th. I'll hook you up with the best chill-out massage, and we’ll wander the streets, points of interest and all. You gotta try that funky taco truck near the old town hall – best eats, a hidden bombshell of flavor, ya know?

Altadena senior community at the Mirador Apartments demands action after they say they were stranded during Eaton Fire