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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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Now, if you're real keen on charm, check out Magnolia District. Its winding lanes, like Maple and 3rd, are full of cute boutiques and wonky little cafes. Cold mornings mean you might catch me near the Iris Park—sprawling green space along the Saffron River (yeah, that very river – not exactly Niagara but hey, it's ours). Iris Park’s my fave when I need peace or when my mind’s in a twist; sometimes I sit by the riverbank and think, “Isn’t life just a beautiful mess?”

Ranking: The best counties to raise a family in New Mexico