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About Los Angeles

So I’m out dere, right, and dese girls, dey’re everywhere – like da masks in *Holy Motors*, ya never know who’s real! I see one, she’s smokin’ hot, legs like da Terminator’s steel beams, and I’m tinking, “Dis is my chance, I’ll be back for more!” But den – bam! – some sleazy pimp rolls up, all “Who are you, monsieur?” like dat creepy line from da film. I’m pissed, man! I wanna flex and yell, “Get to da choppa!” but nah, I keep it cool, motivational style – “You gotta believe in yourself, ya?”

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Oh, and don't get me started on the hidden gems – like that off-the-beaten path diner on Birch St. where the coffee’s strong enough to wake the dead. I once got so mad there because the order was wrong, but hey, it’s all part of the city's colorful tapestry. And y’know what? That’s just Elk-River’s charm—imperfect, unexpected, and absolutely irresistible.

Elk River woman, 35, charged with attempted murder