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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!
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I was walkin’ our quaint streets. I pass by the old brick Pub on Hill Ln. Hard to miss the rundown charm. The little river, Slushbrook, cuts through town. You never know what’s next. It’s unnervingly calm. “They do not reveal.” Classic Haneke vibe, yea?
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