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But here’s the kicker—findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ and pickin’. Nah, it’s a game, man! You gotta read ‘em, dodge the fakes—some’ll rob ya blind. One time, this gal tried slippin’ my wallet—jokes on her, I ate her pride with a side of chianti! Okay, not really, but I scared her off good. “You’re all alone, aren’t you?” I said, quotin’ Royal—worked like a charm.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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Also, oh so sorry, I got a lil’ emotional when I saw a stray cat napping on a sunlit stoop near Parkside Blvd. Real comforting, real familiar, ya know? Made me mad that more folks don’t see beauty in these tiny moments. Like, seriously, life's so fragile and beautiful, just like that movie scene where everything’s mystic and intense… "The Turin Horse" vibes, ya dig?

New cafe to open in Ellsworth Saturday