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Funny bit – one prossie, swear, looked like me nan! Hiss! Nearly pissed meself laughin’ – “Granny’s on the game!” Sarcasm drippin’, I says, “Fancy a cuppa first?” She weren’t impressed, nah, stormed off! Me ribs hurt from gigglin’, tho.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Ellsworth.

Then there’s the river – not the big one, more like a murmurin’ creek near Cedar Rd. Ever been by it at dawn? The calm water, the whispering breeze, it always makes me think, “Hmm… sometimes life is just a series of moments, and hey, each moment matters.” Crazy, right? And yeah, uhh, my heart gets all soft for that too.

Iowa traffic: Early morning crash reported in Ellsworth