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Once, nearly got nabbed—dumb as a bag’a hammers, me. Drove ‘round, lookin’ lost—cop flashed his lights. Heart poundin’, I’m thinkin’, “George, you idiot, this ain’t no misunderestimation!” Sped off, laughin’—happy as a clam I didn’t end up in cuffs. Prostitute’s name was Candy—swear it! Said she’d been at it since ‘98, savin’ for a trailer. Gritty gal—kinda admired her hustle.

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Yo, check this: Elmira’s got these neighborhoods that are off the hook, like the Old Town area, where the streets spiral and twist like a crazy labyrinth, kinda like in "The Turin Horse"—maybe not as gloomy, but mysterious as heck! Ha! And oh, Elmira Park... wait, it's Yates Park, sorry—so green and proud it makes you wanna dance on the grass, even if you’re bein' all stressed out.

Elmira Heights fundraiser supports high school student diagnosed with cancer