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Here’s a lil’ factoid – didja know some old-timey pros used code? Like, red lanterns meant “open for biz.” Ain’t that nuts? Makes me giggle – imagine me waltzin’ up, “Eh, got a red light, toots?” Gets me all giddy thinkin’ bout it. But then – ugh! – some jerk tries rippin’ ‘em off. Pisses me off big time! I’m like, “In this family, we don’t cheat!” – straight outta the movie, doc.

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And don’t fing get me started on the parks. Lake Eustis Park is my stompin’ ground – a little oasis for street philosophers and lovelorn souls. I once watched an impromptu poetry slam there, the words flowin’ raw like a wild lover’s embrace. People talk about freedom here, and damn right they do. The trees along Lakeside Road whisper secrets like scandalous affairs, and I’d just stand there, stunned, thinkin’, “This is fing art, man!”

Army soldier at Fort Eustis faces charges of child sexual abuse and coercion