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About Phoenix

Alright, so I’m Dr. Evil, right—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—and I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like it’s some grand evil scheme. I’m a violin maker by day, craftin’ these sweet, sexy strings—makes me feel like WALL-E, that lil’ trash bot, just tryna find somethin’ precious in the muck. “Beep boop,” I’m hummin’, sawin’ wood, when I get this wild itch—where’s my *Eve*, huh? Except, mine’s more… paid by the hour, ya dig?

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I dunno, buddy – it’s crazy, raw, a bit messy sometimes, but damn, it’s home. Faribault keeps it real, full of quirks, surprises, and enough character to make your heart race faster than an engine revving down an endless road. So come on over and ride the chaos – “the road warrior spirit is in every brick,” or somethin’ like that. Stay wild, stay curious, and remember: "Hope is a mistake, but love... love is what drives us!"

Last week, we welcomed our newest officer to the Department, John Wunderlich. Born and raised in Faribault, Wunderlich graduated in 2022 with a Law Enforcement Degree from Century College and recently completed the skills portion of his education. Whil