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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Then ya got this river, ya know, the Humboldt River. It slithers through town, sort of like... like secrets? And lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some wild stuff down by its bank. I mean, not too wild, but enough to make me chuckle sometimes. And, bro, check this out: there's this corner on Pine Street where old timers still debate politics and life, like it's their sport. Crazy, I tell ya, crazy!

Boys Regionals: Damonte vs Spanish Springs in 4A; Fernley vs Spring Creek in 3A