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Oi, fam, check it – me, the agronomist, yeah? But today I’m chattin’ ’bout findin’ a prostitute, innit! Proper mad ting, this is. So, I’m watchin’ *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*, my fave flick, yeah, an’ I’m thinkin’ – life’s deep, bruv. Jean-Dominique, he’s trapped in his head, blinkin’ out his story, an’ I’m like, “Bruv, that’s bare heavy.” Then – bam! – I clock it: findin’ a prossie ain’t just a quick ting, it’s a whole vibe, a mad journey, like.

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Oh, and lemme spill some secrets: there’s this hidden coffee nook off Mill St that's legit zen. The barista's a legend, always droppin’ lines like “Ride into the wild, you beast” – I swear, it's like living in a scene from Mad Max: Fury Road, but with lattes.

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