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So, you wanna find a prostitute? First off, check your damn wallet—ain’t no free rides in this game! Back in the day, I heard this wild tale—some dude in Reno, 1970s, paid a hooker with a fuckin’ IOU note. Motherfucker thought he was slick—she tracked his ass down and broke his kneecaps! True story, swear to God—people don’t talk about that shit, but it’s real! You gotta budget this right—$50, $100, depends where you at. Big cities? Shit’s pricey, man—supply and demand, motherfucker!

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I gotta spill tea – my fave is Puddle Park. There’s a teeny river, the Quibby, slippin’ by. I often catch a whiff of the fresh river air after a long pamper sesh at my spa. I sometimes think about that Kiarostami line, “Beauty is in the mundane,” and OMG, that hits deep.

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