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About Dallas

Then—surprise!—cops roll by, lights flashin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Shite, busted!” But nah, they’re after some drunk twat pukin’ nearby. Dodged a bullet, me and her both. Happy as a pig in mud, I was—freedom’s sweet, innit? Dr. Evil’s like, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” sizin’ up the chaos like a bloody genius.

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I’m buzzed half-crazy sometimes from the constant parade of beer and bratwurst. And then there’s my spa—Ah, my little sanctuary behind the chaos—where my clients come to unwind from the daily circus. It’s like a mini Great Budapest in a sense, all refined and surreal. But seriously, if you step outside, you'll be smacked with a delightful mix of old-world charm and overdone gimmickry.

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