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I’m typin’ fast – finidng a prostiute. Oops – typo city! Who cares – adrenaline’s pumpin’. This one profile – “Lola, 25, fun times.” Links to some sketchy site – pics blurry. I’m like – “Wow. She’s got GUTS.” Like Linguini – flailin’ but bold! I click – heart racin’. Suddenly – pop-up ad! “Hot singles near YOU!” – bullshit! Slam the laptop shut – nearly SCREAMED.

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Right, mate, let me tell ya 'bout Garfield-Heights (us) – this is one bonkers patch of earth I call home. I’ve been here for yonks, ya know, workin' as a masseur, and trust me, I’ve seen it all; back rubs, brawls, and belly laughs. First off, this city’s a bloody mosaic of attitude and places that don’t give a toss about perfection.

OHSAA basketball scores I Louisville vs. Garfield Heights, high school state semifinal recap