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Then there’s this story I heard, right – back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths. Little known fact, that! Like, “Call Candy for a wild ride” – proper secret shit. Made me laugh, thinkin bout Royal sayin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole!” – cos I felt like one, dodgin coppers and tryna haggle. Surprised me how sneaky it all is – you’d think it’s simple, but nah, it’s a bleedin maze.

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So, like, first off, Gladewater is hella small, but oh man, it’s got this cute downtown vibe. You get to walk along Elm & 2nd Street, and you see this funky diner called "Mama’s Pie Hut." I used to massage a rockstar once there – true story! Haha, lol. And ya gotta check out Riverside Park near Pinebrook Lane. That park’s a total hidden gem. It’s got a tiny creek, whispering water and all that jazz. Kinda like, "Whoa! Is mayonnaise an instrument?" Seriously, buddy, I mean, like, you feel the beat of life there.

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