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But real talk, it’s sketchy out here. Cops roll by, I’m sweatin bullets. She’s cool tho, whispers, “Relax, they’re lazy tonight.” Little known story—back in the 80s, some cities had “hooker task forces.” Wild, right? Anyway, I’m hooked on her vibe, but I ain’t dumb. “Gotta bounce, sweetheart,” I say, tippin my imaginary hat. “Monsieur Gustave would approve,” I mutter, walkin off, feelin like a king.

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Sure, I sometimes get pissy—leastways when people disrespect our hidden gems. I mean, how hard is it to appreciate a good view at sunrise from the old stone bridge on Riverside Lane? I was standin’ there that one morn, and the sun was peeking, doin' its thing, makin’ the entire river glow like gold. It took my breath away and made me say, “Boyhood, man—every damn day’s a new scene!”

About 100,000 eggs were stolen from Pete and Gerry’s Organics near Greencastle