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About New York City

Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

Objectives

Man, sometimes I get mad, like when the city's noise just rips my zen right outta me – its busy streets and constant honking! But then there's surprises too, like the old bridge over the Tiny Riv, where I had one of the best massage sessions under a starry sky. Srsly, it was as if "I'm floating, I'm falling." Those are the moments I never forget.

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