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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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I also dig the artsy neighborhood of Eastside. It’s so random – with murals on walls, and little boutiques that smell like, I dunno, nostalgia? I once had a client who cried there because the colors totally took them back to a childhood memory (so intense, like a scene from a movie, really). The vibe when you stroll by is unpredictable but, like, exciting - you never know what you'll see next, which is sometimes maddening but hella cool.

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