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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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Lately, I wandered off-track too many times (lol, sorry for the typos: “hte city is amaizing, u kno, with every corner brings fresh exciitement” etc.) Let’s see: one day I got lost near the old church on Oak Avenue—so eerie but cool—like a scene from a lunatic flick. Oops! Must be on my third coffee by then, haha!

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