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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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Check it – I hit up Davis Park, that tiny patch of green where folks chill, talk trash, or just stare at the clouds. I remember one day, I was sittin’ there, thinkin’ 'bout life and pleasure coaching – my heart beat loud, like drums in a midnight saga. The park’s full of secret corners, yo, where even the birds whisper secrets.

Havelock police investigate deadly hit-and-run