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About Houston

Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

History & creation

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I'm always bouncin' from one cool spot to another. Imagine hangin out at Coconut Grove Park – it's like a secret hideout where nature hugs you, dude! Over there, Naniwa Road pulses with local life. The people here are super friendly but sometimes, man, they get me mad with their slow antics when you're in a rush, but hey, it's part of the charm! And guess what? There's this amazing waterfall near Wailoa River that always leaves me surprised – like, BOOM, water magic!

Island wide search for man who allegedly shot Big Island police officer continues, getaway driver arrested