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I’m chattin her up, right, and she’s all “50 quid, guv.” Bargain, I think – cheaper than a bloody Aston Martin tune-up. “Let’s get outta here, sport,” I say, quotin good ol’ Royal again. She’s smirkin, I’m buzzin – it’s a deal. But mate, the stench of cheap perfume? Ugh, made me wanna gag – worse than Blofeld’s lair.

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Sometimes, my mind churns out these feelings in a blur. One moment, I'm passionate about doubtin' the big shots who think they can control our lives, and the next, I'm smilin' at a stray dog or a moment of kind honesty. Oh gosh, excuse my tyops––I mean, typos. I get so fired up, it's like: "What’s the point of it all if we don’t connect, if we don’t care?"

Hanover Township to hold kite festival at Hoffman Estates forest preserve