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So, findin a prossie ain’t rocket science – hit the dodgy end of town, neon lights flickerin like they’re bout to die. Saw one gal, smokin a ciggie, lookin bored as fuck – I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin?” She nods, all casual, like I’m buyin chips. Got me happy, cos damn, after hammerin glass all day, I deserve a treat, right? But then – fuck – some creep in a van rolls up, yellin at her, and I’m ragin! Who treats a lass like that? Wanted to smash his windshield, Dr. Evil style, *pinky-to-mouth*, “One million dollars… of pain!”

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Alright, listen up, comrade! I tell ya 'bout PHopatcong (us) like it’s my secret club. Me, Gru, dating site devel-per in town, livin’ among quirky streets, crazy parks and hidden gems. Yo, this place got vibe, y'know? Lightbulb!

Getting His Feet Wet: Hopatcong State Park Boss Enjoying Lake Life